Communication Skills! Yaaaaay!

I had my second to last Sunday at work! It's so funny, I used to be so stressed every single Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday because I would be dreding those horrible, stressful days that seemed to last forever leaving me feeling drained, taken advantage of, stepped on and all around sad and dejected. Interestingly enough though, since I told my boss I am no longer working on weekends, my Sundays have magically become easy and painless! It makes sense, the pressure is gone now, I know that I won't have to work them anymore soon, but it's still pretty funny to me. Another reason I could be feeling happy today is that I came home to a freshly clean home, and I appreciate my boyfriend taking the time to clean so much. It always feels like a gift. Plus, he's really cute so there is that too. ;)

I'm starting to realize how much stuff I have in my now dead computer! I'm trying to hunt down my resume and a couple of knitting charts I was midway through. I'm hopeful, but it's still a pain! Arg.

On a happy note, my friend Marty asked me to be one of her bridesmaids at her engagement party last night!!!!! I'm so excited for their wedding!!!! Normally when someone I know is getting married, I'll be excited, but I have my own personal reservations about marriage so my feelings will be slightly subdued; but I can honestly and sincerely say that I cannot think of a better couple--and this is how I know-- it's how they watch each other. And I don't mean sometimes, or just when they are sitting together, I'm talking about how Grady will be talking to Joel, and I'll just watch Marty. She always has this little smile on her face when he talks and she watches Grady so deeply, like she is thoroughly listening to every word he has to say and and it fills her with happiness and contentment. Grady does the same thing too, it's just so sweet to watch and I couldn't be more honored that they want to include me in their wedding. Okay, enough sappy writing.

I found this amazing article today! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/the-questions-that-will-save-your-relationships_b_4618254.html . It's all about being thoughtful in what questions you ask those around you (specifically your partner) and how you ask your questions. I'm finding more and more throughout my life how invaluable good communication skills are. Joel has been amazing for me in this way. His family is filled with talkers. If there's a problem, they might fight a bit, but they ALWAYS resolve the issue and talk it out. That's foreign to me sadly, I feel like my family has always been very hush hush. If there's a fight you both either pretend it didn't happen and never speak of it, or you just don't talk for a while---and then never bring it up again. So needless to say my communication skills were hardly evolved. Joel taught me the importance of acknowledging the other person's feelings. It's also important to honestly consider your own feelings and where they are originating from. Are you actually just sad because your friend upset you and you are taking it out on your partner, or does it actually really bother you that much that your boyfriend didn't put the butter back in the fridge? Joel has helped me realize that your own thoughtfulness, awareness, and communication with yourself is almost more important to develop than your communication skills with others, because once you have that down everything else seems a lot more clear and manageable. I've also found that how you approach a conversation is so important! I try to always start with how I am feeling about something, rather that how the other person is making me mad. For instance, I will say, "I feel like we don't get to spend enough quality time together and it's making me really sad; I cherish our time together, can we put some effort into getting more romantic time to enjoy each other. I really love you, and you mean a lot to me" as opposed to, "You never make time for us! How come you never want to spend time with me, am I not as important to you as your stupid computer?". Obviously those examples are fictional and a little silly, but you get the idea. Also, notice how I switched the sentences? I prefer to structure my sentences to include both parties, so I say we, us, etc. rather than I, you, because then it is less accusing to the other person and more taking responsibility for situations equally. Anywho, I definitely didn't plan on rambling on so much, but I have been thinking lately that I have gotten so much better at communicating and it has helped my own relationship. It has definitely been a growing experience that has taken time and commitment, and I'm really glad that Joel and I have evolved to this level together. Back to the article though, I love how she brought awareness to something so simple and obvious that I never consciously thought of! It's so brilliant and I will try my best to incorporate her technique into my life.

While we're on this word rampage, I became very clear about Waldron. I want Waldron in my future. I don't know how I'll get there, how long it will take, or anything else really, but I will. I'm actually excited to see how this particular journey will play out.

I'm off work tomorrow (yay!!!), so I think I will dedicate my time to finishing up little projects I have around the house, checking things off my to do list, and maybe giving my etsy a little love. ;)


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